Dear Faub,
Hi, my name is Curious. That’s actually my name. My parents were hippies and thought it would be a good name, because I was a curious looking baby and because they did a lot of LSD. My question is: What are Faub’s views on changing your name? My friends call me Skip, and that’s alright. If I had a choice I’d probably change my name to Greg or Gregory. Does Faub think this a good idea? I’m 36 and it seems as if it’s a lot of work to get it legally changed. Thanks. -Tim
Dear Tim(?),
Faub’s writings are very clear on the subject of changing one’s name. Upon leafing through the prolific pages of the Books of Faub I came across this gem, from the Book of Legal Issues, Chapter 7, Verse 3-7.
“3. And yay, though I walk among the skin walkers, and do the things that skin walkers do, I often ask myself, “What’s in a name?” 4. Does a name really have any meaning besides the gurgling and popping noises that usher from one’s mouth hole and hit another beings ear drum? 5. Call a rose a “shit caterpillar” and does it smell less like a red flower? 6. Thus, I concluded, names are no biggie. 7. We can’t choose our own birth names, but if we could, we’d all be named something stupid like “Commander Sky Lazersmith,” and as we all know there can be only one Commander Sky Lazersmith, and that’s me, morons!”
Thus ends the reading from the Books of Faub.
Let’s forget that he called us all morons near the end, there. Let’s concentrate on the good that was intended. Faub channelled Shakespeare for a moment and shed light on the meaninglessness of names. He did it by conjuring up the image of caterpillar made of animated feces (which is an image that we might not soon forget) but the meaning was plain. It’s just a name. Sticks and stones, and all of that.