Dear Faub,
Is it okay to wear Crest Whitestrips while meditating? I'm trying to manage my time well, but I don't want to take away from the spirituality of the practice. Can't find an answer on Google.
- Luminous Grin
Dear Luminous,
Your question, while seemingly straightforward, broaches on a complicated and delicate subject for Faub. The question of "practice" for anything spiritual is an issue that Faub has struggled with from the beginning. Should we practice anything? Faub argues that perhaps we shant.
As he expressed in The Books of Faub, The Psalms of Spiritual Nuggetry, Psalm 432:
I was performing in a Summer stock production of Shakespeare's "All's Well That End's Well" back in 1996. While I was sitting backstage, trying to get my old timey words straight in my mind so that they can come out of my mouth, I came to the conclusion that rehearsals were stupid. Look at us. We keep running over the same damned lines, over and over again, standing in the same damned spot, and pretending to be someone we're not.
There is no talent involved in acting. Anybody could be a good actor if you've got the time to run over the points 100,000 times. That's when I decided to shake things up. I stepped out on the stage that night, and started taking suggestions from the audience. They threw out scenarios like "Your in a doctor's office, and you have to tell the Duke of Florence that he has six months to live." The stage came to life! The actors were all terrified and I was asked never to act on stage again. Little did that director know that this wasn't just the most terrible performance of "All's Well That End's Well," ever seen, but this was also the birth of my Improv troupe, "The Bard's Nuts!"
Practice is stupid. Life's an improv.
As to your question regarding the whitening of your teeth while meditating, Faub has sent me this text:
Why is this person asking me about meditation? If he/she is meditating she is clearly not following the teachings of the Church Church. And if she/he is not following our teachings, why is she concerned with our advice? Nobody meditates on me. Nobody should. Meditation is for important things, like nature and bowling.
Crest White Strips? The bleaching of one's chompers is strictly forbidden by the Church Church. If I wanted to see the whites of your teeth I would have become a dentist, not a Cult leader. Brown is a glorious color for teeth. Don't deny the color yellowy-brown!
If him/her is seeking answers through Google, instead of seeking true answers from the source, she/shim is lost in a garden of their own making. I'm a Bing man. Google is sooo early 2000's.
I hoped this helped answer your question. And thus ends the reading of Faub's words. And all Faub's people said, "Whatever!"
